KAMA SUTRA

Love is an emotion that should be CELEBRATED through physical intimacy, through touch and through exploring your own and your lovers' body, wants, pleasures and desires… and doing so without fear, inhibition or shame.

I want to speak about incorporating some aspects of KAMA SUTRA into your relationship – its title translates as "The science of pleasure". The practice/art of Kama Sutra is not focused on actual intercourse, it focuses on creating an emotional state and feeling of sexual desire with your partner, especially the feelings of anticipation of sexual activity, through intense focus on your partner and yourself. It is not only the state of arousal and anticipation, but also about how to help provoke/entice those feelings and emotions within.

KAMA, is a Sanskrit word that relates to erotic and aesthetic pleasures and has the general meanings of wish, desire and intention, in addition to the specific meanings of pleasure and (sexual) love. Kama is sensuous love, and explores emotional feelings of attachment between lovers.

Kama Sutra is an ancient, Hindi ritual of love making. Exploring sensual, erotic touch, pleasures and techniques, through sensory stimulation. It is an intense, erotic and sensual way of exploring, enticing and of deepening and enriching your inner connection with your lover.

Ecstasy in love making is not essentially a mental process, but rather paying attention to sensory information as well… the five senses of sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste … assisted by the mind together and in combination, with the physical body and soul.

HEARING (SOUND)
Soft background music could add to atmosphere and aid relaxation, but music is not a necessity.

Of course words of adoration, appreciation, want, need, desire and love are important to be spoken and heard… However, being able to just 'be' with your lover in silence… the only sounds in the stillness being that of your breathing... listening with the mind, heart and soul, is what leads to a greater and deeper connection.

SIGHT
If you are doing this at night, use candles to create soft, subtle lighting in the space you are sharing with your lover.

How many times have we heard the saying "the eyes are the windows to the soul"? So start by sitting facing each other… Just look at your lover. Connect on an eye level, and deepen that connection by looking and searching within the soul. Just take time for deep, silent eye contact.

Sight obviously also refers to seeing each other in the flesh… taking in the beauty of the body in its most natural form.

TOUCH
Explore your lovers' body moving your hands, your fingers over his/her body, skin and flesh. And yes, that includes intimate touch of the breasts, chest, vagina and penis. Take mental note of where your lover feels deeper sensation or sensitivity… You'll notice a slight quiver, or a change in their breathing rhythm, a gasp or sound of pleasure uttered in the silence you share. (Using a blindfold, whilst exploring your lovers' body, would force you to 'see' through touch alone... blind folding your lover, creates a deeper awareness of your touch on their skin and incorporates and instils a sense of inner trust)

Touching, such as intertwined fingers and holding hands, wrapping your arms and legs around each other and 'intertwining' your bodies, feeling flesh against flesh… brings feelings of closeness and a deep sense of arousal.

Give your lover a full body massage. It is a way of touching and exploring his/her body and creates a sense of deep relaxation. Massage is one of the easiest and surest ways to disconnect from the world outside and to connect with your lover. This will still/quieten your minds and thoughts and put you in a space where you are only aware of your bodies and souls, only aware of each other.

SMELL
Ever find how smell can evoke a memory and can remind you of a place or time... or of something or someone in your life?

Use aromatherapy oils or scented lotions during massage and touch… I recommend fragrances/scents such as sandlewood, chocolate, vanilla or ylang-ylang… They are divine and erotic smells that add to sexual arousal and love making.

TASTE
Feed each other small bites of exotic, tasteful food, whilst being intimate... exploring and experiencing the tastes and textures with you tongue.

Then of course there is the classic whipped cream, chocolate, honey, or flavoured lubricants, painted or drizzled over chosen parts of the body and using your mouth and your tongue… To lick, suck and taste the sweetness, the flavours and textures, is extremely erotic and sensual.

However, those aids are not needed… use your mouth and tongue to explore your partners skin, flesh and body… A nip or lick in the neck, on the ear lobes, over the shoulders… a stroke of the tongue over bare naked flesh, leading to chest/breast, over sensitive nipples, mounds and valleys of the body.

Kiss… Tongues touching, tasting, exploring… slow, lingering, passionate, wanting and yearning.

Explore and include oral sex… again, seductive slow licking, flicking, sucking, slight breaths of warm air breathed over exposed flesh….tasting your lovers' most intimate juices when in a state of arousal.

Discover, tease, entice and please one another through a combination of your senses… but only to a state of ALMOST reaching orgasm… and STOP… take time to breathe each other in… slow deep breaths… Notice how the rhythm of you heartbeats and your breathing fall into sync and become one… Create a need and desire so intense that all you want is to finally melt and explode within your lover, AND DO… be it actual intercourse, oral sex, or simply through touch.

The shared sensory arousal, the intimacy felt and the anticipation leading up to finally becoming one, not just in soul but in body and mind as well and finally entering into an eruption and a shared peak of an intense climax… enhances the physical and mental state and awareness, that leads into utter and pure ecstasy and bliss, shared between two souls.

Love and Light
Nat
xxx

Intimacy

Let's chat about intimacy

The definition of intimacy in relation to a relationship, is clear and simple… it is a state of being lovingly close, familiar and affectionate towards another being.

Intimacy is not just about sex, intercourse and lust. It is so much more than that. It is about trust and about having a closeness with someone, that is comfortable… a warmth deep within you. A place and a moment in time, where nothing else matters but just being in the same space, breathing the same air. It's about touch… not just physical touch of body, but touching the heart, mind and soul

It is about physical and emotional feelings. It is about a soul connection with your partner. Connecting with him/her on an inner core level. It is about being able to share your most inner thoughts, wants, needs and feelings, through actions as well as with words. Often though, in a moment of true intimacy, there is no need for words to be spoken.

Loving and caring for someone should be effortless. It is not something that can be forced. It is either there or it isn't… however, that said, there are ways to feel closer and more intimate with your partner.

It is easy to have sex because of feelings of lust and attraction. But when sex is connected and stems from intimate feelings of warmth, wanting, needing, adoration, appreciation and loving someone from a place deep within, sex becomes a ritual of making hot, passionate and sensual love.

Okay, so daily life and the hustle and bustle, means that time or privacy could be an issue. Either because of children or live-in friends/family… CREATE a space and time, where you can be alone. Share a warm bath or shower… again, it is not about the actual sex… it is about sharing a place, a space, a moment in time.

It is okay to tell your children to keep themselves busy with a movie or a book or a game and to tell them, "We are closing the door". Let them know you need your own privacy and space and some alone time. They don't need to know why. But when they are older, they will have learnt how important 'alone time' is, in their own relationships.

In closing, to truly feel close and to reconnect with the one you love, I personally suggest Kama Sutra, and Tantra (Tantric sex). There are many books and reading material available on these practices and these are great topics to read up on, and to practice with your partner. It is about connecting/reconnecting with your partner. It is more about sensual massage, some meditation, feeling, wanting, needing, touching, exploring, kissing, tasting… breathing each other in, in slow motion, than about the actual act of sex.

Having an intimate moment with someone, could be the slightest touch, a simple look, even in a crowded room… Intimacy isn't spoken, it is felt...

Until next time,
Nat
xxx