The definition of intimacy in relation to a relationship, is clear and simple… it is a state of being lovingly close, familiar and affectionate towards another being.
Intimacy is not just about sex, intercourse and lust. It is so much more than that. It is about trust and about having a closeness with someone, that is comfortable… a warmth deep within you. A place and a moment in time, where nothing else matters but just being in the same space, breathing the same air. It's about touch… not just physical touch of body, but touching the heart, mind and soul
It is about physical and emotional feelings. It is about a soul connection with your partner. Connecting with him/her on an inner core level. It is about being able to share your most inner thoughts, wants, needs and feelings, through actions as well as with words. Often though, in a moment of true intimacy, there is no need for words to be spoken.
Loving and caring for someone should be effortless. It is not something that can be forced. It is either there or it isn't… however, that said, there are ways to feel closer and more intimate with your partner.
It is easy to have sex because of feelings of lust and attraction. But when sex is connected and stems from intimate feelings of warmth, wanting, needing, adoration, appreciation and loving someone from a place deep within, sex becomes a ritual of making hot, passionate and sensual love.
Okay, so daily life and the hustle and bustle, means that time or privacy could be an issue. Either because of children or live-in friends/family… CREATE a space and time, where you can be alone. Share a warm bath or shower… again, it is not about the actual sex… it is about sharing a place, a space, a moment in time.
It is okay to tell your children to keep themselves busy with a movie or a book or a game and to tell them, "We are closing the door". Let them know you need your own privacy and space and some alone time. They don't need to know why. But when they are older, they will have learnt how important 'alone time' is, in their own relationships.
In closing, to truly feel close and to reconnect with the one you love, I personally suggest Kama Sutra, and Tantra (Tantric sex). There are many books and reading material available on these practices and these are great topics to read up on, and to practice with your partner. It is about connecting/reconnecting with your partner. It is more about sensual massage, some meditation, feeling, wanting, needing, touching, exploring, kissing, tasting… breathing each other in, in slow motion, than about the actual act of sex.
Having an intimate moment with someone, could be the slightest touch, a simple look, even in a crowded room… Intimacy isn't spoken, it is felt...
Until next time,
Nat
xxx
I just loved reading this. It is something I know, but had to see again. It is truly important to make time in the relationship to connect. I find that between the busy work life, the kids and day to day activities, it is often just a "do you wnat to be together?" Rather than connecting and sharing that space.
ReplyDeleteWell written Natz
So true.
ReplyDeleteI feel that a lot of thoughts and actions surrounding sex leaves out the connection between the two. One would most certainly feel it when it´s there. I have never really heard of anyone describing this when talking about sexual matters and for some time i wondered if people really were so disconnected with themselves that all was forgotten.
Just to have time to sit close together and not having to say anything, gentle touches, sharing a little kiss... These things goes a long way. When someone goes on and on regarding the act of penetration over and over without any of the surrounding atmosphere i get kinda sad. No wonder why so many people have complaints in their sex life when there is literary no passion there.
Sure one could get by just with the sex alone, but as a human being there are far more important needs to be met.